Monday, March 31, 2014

KIM DESPINS - WOMAN IN HORROR!



http://kimdespins.blogspot.com/2014/03/new-look-new-resolve.html


https://www.facebook.com/kim.despins?fref=ts



Kim Despins is my Woman In Horror today! She lives in Colorado, only about an hour's drive from me. The Keeper is Kim's first novel. It is a tale of the men in a family shifting into wolves when the moon becomes full. This takes place in a town where this ancient curse has plagued the residents for years. But . . . but is it really a curse? Kim makes the story come alive before your eyes and presents so much believability to the tale that one wonders what if?

Okay, I'm part Native American and cling to some of the old beliefs. Shape-shifting is nothing new to many tribes. Also, I keep an open mind about everything. No one has all the answers to the happenings in the cosmos. But Kim presents a tale of horror that just could be true, and that, my friends, is what makes for great reading. It doesn't matter what you believe, just hang on for a super ride into some great hard-hitting horror. By the way, the fire and brimstone preacher in this story reminds me of any number of do-gooders, those who have their own agenda and want to foist it upon others.

Kim is able to work great sub-plots into her novel, allowing for a lot of depth and breadth that many authors don't seem to acquire the skills for. In many ways, I would compare this great book to the great Dean Koontz novel Lightning. Not in the story line, by any means, but by bringing in side plots as you read the tale to explain what is happening now, and what has happened in the past. She does this with an exemplary use of back-story, a little here, a little there, not subjecting the reader to a whole, huge explanation of what went on before and turning the reader off. There is nothing to detract from the horror of the moment. It just keeps on a rolling!

So, my friends, if you enjoy reading stories from a master at the craft, one who does not dumb down to the readers, and a talent who spins an intelligent, believable story, you have found your woman. Kim Despins is a Woman In Horror!


Blaze McRob



Kim Despins lives and plays in Colorado. Her work has appeared in a number of anthologies and magazines including Shocklines: Fresh Voices in Terror (forthcoming from Cemetery Dance) and On Spec magazine.
She collaborated with her writing group Snutch to create Tales from the Yellow Rose Diner and Fill Station, a well-received and unique collection of stories that explore some of the ugliest moments in the lives of the diner's patrons.
Kim's greatest desire is to spend a single night with S. Clayton Yurpecs, drinking decent wine and painting each other's toenails.
The Keeper is her first novel.



Horror Library, Volume 4 by Strand, Jeff, Little, Bentley, Dinan, Kurt and Bain, Matt (Jan 1, 2012)

Book Description

January 1, 2012
Spanning the universe of modern literary horror, this volume features 29 genre rich short stories by 29 cutting edge authors, some well known, some soon to be. If you'd like a snapshot of where this genre is headed, you have found the right book.
5.0 out of 5 stars Horror for the thinking man January 14, 2012
By Darkeva
Format:Paperback
There's certainly no shortage of "Best of" or themed anthologies on the horror and fantasy shelves with the usual suspects-Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Caitlin R. Kiernan, Simon R. Green, George R.R. Martin, etc, and although Horror Library Volume 4 contains works mostly by new and emerging authors like Nate Kenyon, Jeff Strand, Tim Waggoner, Lee Thomas, and Bentley Little among others, you'll find some of the best short horror fiction within the pages of this anthology.

It's so hard to choose favourites, because each of the pieces has something different to offer and is unique in its own way. You've got it all in this anthology of awe-inspiring tales that, even though it doesn't have some of the bigger names you may traditionally be used to seeing, contains gut-wrenching, provocative, thought-provoking and dare I say literary horror fiction-horror for the thinking man (or woman) :-) . Not that a good old-fashioned vampire or zombie apocalypse plot isn't great, but put the predictable stuff away and pick something up that's got a lot more bite. 
(3)

+Horror Library+ Volume 2 by Various, R.J. Cavender, David A. Magitis and Ian Rogers (Mar 29, 2007)This anthology features thirty powerful stories, collectively representing the array of themes that one would expect to find in a library dedicated to horror. Each story was written by a unique up and coming author. This book has received praise in a number of reviews and has been recommended for an HWA Bram Stoker Award, and winning one is the highest honor one can achieve in the Horror Genre

 First Class By S. Sommerville on May 4, 2009

Format: Paperback
The first volume from the Horror Library was great as it featured a lot of variety as far as style, theme and atmosphere. Only it was inconsistant as far as quality; some stories being flat out brilliant, while others had no business being published.

This one takes it to the next level. The quality is excellent.

Out of the 29 stories, I found only 3 that I didn't care for, 16 that were good, solid reads and 10 that were fantastic:

The fantastic:

John Rector's "A Season of Sleep," was a beautifully written zombie tale. In its prose it weaved beautifully worded sentences only to create a story that wrenched the gut as well as the heart.

"I am Meat, I am in Daycare," by Cameron Pierce. From the opening sentence, "When Ted Branson called to ask the rate for Susan's daycare, she didn't realize that his son was a hunk of meat." this one never let up. A truly bizarre nightmare of a story that actually seemed to contain some greater meaning (or maybe I read too much into it, but either way, twas an entertaining read)

"Trapped Light Medium" by Sunil Sadanand was the tale of a narcissistic psychic who sees horrific events before they happen and capitalizes on them to make money as a photographer. Depressing and very well written, this one was among the most memorable and satisfying.

Ron McGillvray's "The Garbage Collectors," was probably the scariest of the bunch. A young family moves to a town in which there is not only no escape but in which every couple must decide which of their children will be fed to the Garbage Collectors.

"Bound," by Alan Smale was one of those that I cannot for the life of me figure out why I liked it so much. A man is bound in cloth and tossed in the air on a blanket continuously by a cult-ish group of mysterious people. Does he finally get a chance to see what lurks over the wall?

"Alien Fajitas," by Boyd E. Harris was one I'll have to go back and read again next year. An ambitious restaurant-chain corporate family man gets a chance to save his career by closing a deal to buy a restaurant concept in New Mexico centered around Roswell. Their popular alien fajitas feature chicken with a green marinade. The secret is appalling and the ending oh, so sweet...

"The Trauma Statement" by Stephen Bacon was another winner. A recent widower who reflects on the near dissolve of his marriage months before his wife's death uncovers a horrifying secret that consumes him. This was among the more terrifying stories.

My personal favorite of the bunch was Daniel L Naden's "Drawn." A young couple give birth to a beautiful little girl with super telekinetic powers. The ending will blow your mind.

Paul Walther's "We Fall on each Other," was another one of those subtle tales that crept up on me and left me wanting to know more. The mood created within builds up in creepiness and is expertly written.

"The Show Must Live on," by Matt Hults was probably the sickest of the lot. A clown chained up in a shack within a deserted amusement park is able to fulfill wishes for those willing to pay. This read like Bentley Little at his sickest and weirdest.

Also noteworthy was Clinton Green's "The Horror in the Bookstore," in which he nailed down Lovecraft's prose and created an enjoyable story. "Immortal Remains" by Tom Pendergrass was a twisted humdinger of a military yarn. Ian Rogers' "Charlotte's Frequency" was an original concept well executed as was "Apple," by Marc Paoletti and "H19N1" by M. Louis Dixon.

Most of the stories were shorter than what is typically found in mass market anthologies, but overall the product was sheer quality-- the editing professional, the stories well chosen, the styles varied the wide spectrum of horror fiction and I am sure you will walk away satisfied as this old jaded horror reader was.

I look forward to delving into volume 3! 
(1)

Formats Price New Used
Paperback Order in the next 33 hours to get it by Tuesday, Apr 1.
FREE Shipping on orders over $35
$16.95 $15.32 $12.67 $4.89

The Keeper by Despins, Kim, Turner, Stacey and Treadway, Rebecca (May 31, 2013)

Book Description

May 31, 2013
The town of Anton has kept the secret of Aksonas farm for generations. Townspeople whisper and worry their children will be chosen and cursed to live an unnatural life in a makeshift family of wolves.

When the moon rises, the men in Olivia’s family become wolves and prowl the countryside to protect their farm from predators. When Olivia stumbles upon the body of the church caretaker on their land, she’s forced to face the possibility that one of her family may have gone rogue.

When she turns to the Sheriff for help in solving the murder, her family turns on her, forcing her to face the townspeople and the ghosts of her past alone. To make matters worse, a fire and brimstone preacher has decided to rid Anton of the ancient curse once and for all, no matter the cost.
5.0 out of 5 stars Werewoves? Sign me up. June 7, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
With the glut of zombies and sparkly vampires out there on the horror shelves, it's nice to see a true blue werewolf story pop up. You'd think there'd be more of them but here's the thing, it's hard to write a decent werewolf novel. I mean, it's man then beast and then man. And when they're in beast mode, it's not like they're telling you about their depression or how much they hate eating people. Nah, they're ripping your liver out with their giant fangs, man!

So, it's hard unless you resort to a "been there done that" like The Wolf Man or a comedy like American Werewolf in London or something along the lines of Thomas Tessier's The Nightwalker (where you never really see the beast because it's all internal changes from his POV).

Not so hard for Kim Despins. She delivers a solid, well-told werewolf novel. But it's not your trope filled, silver bullet, full moon werewolf book. Nope, it's a complicated one. Intricate. The implications of a family curse; the impact on a town; superstitions become violent reality; the large community (town) vs the small community (family); family vs family; Christianity vs Paganism; and love. Yeah, there's some love in there.

Point is, Kim doesn't go for the cheep thrill or the gore fest that say, someone like I would pen. No, her novel is full of depth, intelligence, and well-molded characters that will sit with you long after you finish the book. There is pain; an uncomfortable sense of dread rippling through these pages.

This is a damn good book.

Oh, and there's some pretty cool werewolf violence, too. Can't forget that! 
(10)

Tales from The Yellow Rose Diner and Fill Station by Williams, Erik, Anderson, Sam W., Miller, Petra and Dinan, Kurt (May 14, 2013)

Book Description

May 14, 2013
WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE?

At a lonely roadside diner, six patrons will answer this very question. Haunted by choices they made in the past, choices bearing tragic and devastating consequences, these lost souls are forced to relive events that forever changed their lives. In the Yellow Rose's booths, you will meet...

...A photographer, whose quest to get the perfect photo leads him to witness life-altering depravity?

...A drunk driver, whose trail of lies lead to a dark secret...

...A girl who discovers that some gypsy fortune tellers are not frauds, and that dark magic is very real...

...A psychiatrist, whose plan to play mind games with a bigoted patient has dangerous consequences...

...A convict, whose ability to recognize impending death in the faces of those he meets leads to a devastating discovery...

...A teenager, whose self-destructive efforts to rebel against her squeaky-clean image spawn frightful results...

Welcome to the Yellow Rose Diner and Fill Station, where the menu offers generous helpings of human slavery, murder, bigotry, promiscuity, and death. A dark, mosaic novel from the minds of Snutch Labs.

Erik Williams - "Dying of the Light"
John Mantooth - "This is Where the Road Ends"
Kim Despins - "Doshala"
Sam W. Anderson - "Hate Crimes and Therapy over Creamed Chipped Beef"
Petra Miller - "Knowing the Deal"
Kurt Dinan - "The Darkness Game"
5.0 out of 5 stars Makes ya think! March 10, 2013
By VWolf
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Not like your typical scary stories. I felt a strange connection with the characters, although they aren't what you might describe as good people. I loved all of the stories, but the one about the gypsy curse was deinitely my personal favorite.
Fun and easy to read.... Though it does leave you thinking.
(2)


Sunday, March 30, 2014

CHASITY CONLEY - WOMAN IN HORROR!





http://chasitymconley.blogspot.com/2014/03/


https://www.facebook.com/chasity.conleyauthor


https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Shy-Poet/358032104313783






Chasity Conley is my Woman In Horror today! I suppose you folks will look at Chasity's sweet little children's book Ericka The Puppy Learns About Safety Rules and say, "Blaze has gone off the edge of the abyss. This book has nothing to do with horror." You're right. It doesn't. But just as my romantic love poems have nothing to do with horror, don't snicker in the back- I do write some of those - Chasity's children's books have nothing to do with her eclectic talent. She has a super story included in the upcoming anthologyFrom Dusk Til Dawn, to be published in early summer by Visionary Press Collaborative. This is a romance anthology. Different from children's books for sure. And some of the stories in this have horror and erotica mixed in. Quinn Cullen, the Romance Director at Visionary has been quiet so far as to exactly what everyone has written, but since I am one of the editors, I will find out. Ahah.

Also, I know Chasity has more projects coming besides what I have already mentioned. Yay!

Now comes the real reason she is one of my Women In Horror. It is her poetry. Check out the links I have provided for her blog and Facebook pages, in particular https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Shy-Poet/358032104313783The Shy Poet. I happen to love poetry and fancy myself to understand and appreciate not only the finer points of well written poems, but I always see what the poet is conveying. Always, a huge glimpse into the person behind the poetry emerges. What do I see when I read Chasity's poetry? Some of it is light and uplifting, but there are poems of hers that pull her innermost feelings and soul out for the reader to explore. In a sweet way, Chasity tells of real life horrors. Sweet because that is the way Chasity is, but that does not make the horrors any less so. Go to her blog and Facebook page and read these poems. After a few, maybe less, depending on the ones you choose, a pattern erupts, and her majestic poems will hit you with their messages.

Chasity might be The Shy Poet, but her words convey a huge meaning. Chasity Conley is a Woman In Horror!


Blaze McRob
 

ErickaThe Puppy Learns About Safety Rules (Volume 1) by Chasity Conley and Jeffrey Hollar (Mar 15, 2014)Ericka is a puppy that loves to play with birds and cats. She also loves to chase cars. One day she and a friend leave the yard to chase a car, but when they find themselves far from home, Ericka realizes she should have followed the rules. 

Formats Price New Used
Paperback Order in the next 34 hours to get it by Tuesday, Apr 1.
FREE Shipping on orders over $35
$9.13 $8.22 $6.22

Ericka The Puppy Learns About Safety Rules by Chasity Conley and Jeffrey Hollar (Mar 7, 2014)

Book Description

March 7, 2014
Ericka is a puppy that loves to play with birds and cats. She also loves to chase cars. One day she and a friend leave the yard to chase a car, but when they find themselves far from home, Ericka realizes she should have followed the rules.

 

Saturday, March 29, 2014

J-ME PAGE - WOMAN IN HORROR!





https://www.facebook.com/jme.page?fref=ts


https://www.facebook.com/luridartists



J-me Page is my Woman In Horror today! J-me is no shrinking violet. She lives life on her own terms and the hell with those who don't agree. She has an enormous amount of talent and uses those talents to expel the horrors deep within her soul onto the written page. She writes about truth: the Dark terror and morbidity in society today. Why write about the good stuff, the fluff, when there is honesty to be written about?

Look at the two short stories below which she has penned. The descriptions alone will let you you know they are raw horror to the max, no holds-barred, and as Stephen King would say, "They have language." She tells it like it is. Anyone who tells me women can't top men when writing horror has not read J-me Page. Damn! This young lady puts it all on the line! She will send shivers up and down your spine. 

J-me is also an artist in other avenues than writing. Her Lurid Artist page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/luridartists will give you a huge glimpse into that part of her, as well as short stories and some super self-reflection pieces. Usually, I can find a lot about a person in their words and art, but to have that artist explain it herself lends even more credence to the substance of what makes her great. This is very evident on this page, and for those of you looking for a voice of honesty within a world of lies, you will feel at home here.



J-me's words
"I am a widow and have been through hell and back. My 15 yr old son Chaos is my life and I have been writing for over 15 years. I write horror and hard core smut. I live my life the way I see fit and do not care what anyone has to say about it either. I will try just about anything once.. sometimes I get into trouble, but that is life.. you have to take chances, and if you don't then you might as well dig a grave. I am morbid and see the light in the darkness, I see the beauty is all things, even death."

"We are sensual fiends by nature...

I am a widow as many of you know. In the blink of an eye my entire world was destroyed. Losing those I loved made me appreciate life, odd I know.

I have been through hell and back. What I have been through in the past years many will never go through, but I also know that others have gone through worse.

I am a beautiful catastrophe and I live life my fucking way and on my terms. Live life to the bloody hilt!!!

Now hand me my chainsaw"

"You cannot spell manslaughter without laughter." Jaime Page



The Lurid Artist page on Facebook states:

About

Art is meant to comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comfortable.
Biography
We created this page for artists of all types, this is a community created by myself and my partner to give everyone a chance to see and hear things that they wouldn't normally have the opportunity to.

Description
Art. That very word alone puts a sinister smile on my face. What we see as art today, would more than likely be deemed obscene or even vile, and thankfully over the years art has evolved into many different categories and genres. I love art and every form of it, but my favorite by far is the art of self expression. Self expression ranges from body modification to sculpting and everything in between, and I do mean EVERYTHING!

Before we go any further, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jamie, and I am an artist. I'm a published author, writer and dabble in modeling from time to time. (Amateur my darlings.) I currently live in Kenosha Wisconsin and I am the mother of a beautiful fifteen year old son, who is also an artist. I guess it is safe to say that it runs our blood.


This blog is dedicated to artists of all sorts and their specific form of self expression. Whatever way the artist chooses to feed their creative demon, I will showcase it! There will be some brutally honest movie and music reviews,one on one interviews, articles and whatever else my demented mind feels like sharing with my fellow deviants. So,with that being said, welcome to Lurid Artists..... 


I can honestly say that J-me Page is a Woman In Horror!


Blaze McRob



Shivers: A Horror Story by Jamie Page and Brandon Nichols (Apr 7, 2013) - Kindle eBook

Book Description

April 7, 2013
The calm of a suburban evening is shattered by a horrific murder. An average man and his beautiful wife are dead, killed in a horrific orgy of blood. A child is missing, and a disturbed man in a police interrogation room holds the key to everything. A detective is driven to arrive at the truth, but how can he possibly find truth in the mind of a man so deranged?

Warning: This ebook contains extremely disturbing and bloody imagery and is inappropriate for most children. Adults should read it in its entirety before allowing a teenager in their care to read this horror story.

Here is a preview:

“Chelsea’s grin. You cut the corners of the mouth and when the victim screams, she makes the cuts bigger so it’s a permanent grin.”
“I thought that was a Glasgow grin.”
“Fuck, I never heard that.”
The cartoonish evil smile might have been the least disturbing aspect of the body. Matted hair stuck to her face, and then the smile, but from there down the sight was a butcher shop horror. Blood—dull greyish black in the photographs—covered the fabric of her pajamas, what was visible.
“Her top—was it cut or torn open.”
“You mean the pajamas?”
“Yeah.”
“I got the usual bullshit about not knowing for sure until he gets to the lab, but it looks like the fucker cut the buttons off. He wasn’t looking for titties, though.”
No. He wasn’t. Stab wounds covered her neck and throat, at least a dozen of them. Arterial spray painted the walls behind and to the left of the body. Her eyes remained open, and the detective shook his head.
“Was there any evidence of sexual assault?”
“He couldn’t see any at the scene. At least no vaginal or anal. We won’t know about oral until they’re done taking the barbed wire off. They haven’t checked the wound yet, but…well fuck I don’t even want to think about that.”
“Yeah.” He didn’t want to think about it either. He scanned downward at the main wound. “Was she alive?”
“No way to tell, but probably not. Once he cut open her chest, the blood would’ve stopped pumping, wouldn’t have made the mess on the walls.”
The detective looked at the hole between her breasts, the jagged tear and the protruding ribs. “Good.” He pointed at the pool of blood beneath her wrists. “Could have bled out here, too.”
“Yeah, struggles with the wire and it slices the wrists.”
“What’s that?”
“The barbed wire. She could have struggled—”
“Not that.” He pointed to her blood-soaked lap. “What’s that?”
“Jesus, Patton. You gonna make me say it? That’s her fucking heart.”
5.0 out of 5 stars BRILLIANT!!!! August 2, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I love to read horror, and I consider myself an expert, and this is by far the best thing I have read in a very long time! I was hooked from page one and did not out it down. The story is so vivid you could actually feel the anger, the fear and the rage. I am the type of woman who cheers for the bad guys, and Frankie has stolen my heart. A sociopath clown that holds in all the torture he had suffered through his life has finally went into a violent rage. He takes care of them all with his...

Okay, there is where I will leave you! Now when you read this, make sure you have some Dr. Pepper on hand, trust me, it just might save your life!

I recommend this book to anyone who loves horror and is tired of all the crap remakes. This is an original story and it will give you chills! I loved it! 

Drusilla's Mirror: A Tale of Horror by Jamie Page (Feb 11, 2013) - Kindle eBook

Book Description

February 11, 2013
Drusilla reminisces with her sister about their misadventures and of course the one misadventure that defines them, the revenge killing of her boyfriend. The dark exploration of sinister and disturbed lives intertwined in murder is sure to keep you up late at night with the lights on, just hoping that sound in the hallway is only your imagination.

Warning: This ebook contains very graphic and horrific imagery. Parents should read this in its entirety before allowing a child in their care to read it.

Here is a preview:

“He smiled and asked what was I doing there, do you remember? I told him I just wanted to see if I had a chance, and then you came out. Before he could even blink his eyes, we were on him like wolves. We tore at his flesh like ravenous beasts. He screamed in agony and tried his best to get us off. Ha! There was no way that he was getting away from us. After what he did, he was going to pay. Lifting his limp body up and putting it in the trunk was hard, but we did it. The look of shock on his face made me laugh. You on the other hand, were as calm as I have ever seen you. You had it all planned out and I was along for the ride. He was already a bloody mess, but then the fun started.
“I wanted to play as well, but you didn’t want to share with me in this one. I understood so I backed away, found a chair, and enjoyed the show. You walked around him ever so slowly, come to think about it, you actually looked like you were walking on a runway. You looked beautiful. You slowly got to your knees, put your hand on his chin, and brought his face up to meet your gaze. You began to kiss him. That kiss was a passionate one, and you said to him? Oh what was it again; yeah I remember now, that it was a kiss before you die. He let out such a moan, I laughed in spite of myself. You turned around and glared at me. You actually had daggers in your eyes, at me of all people.”
5.0 out of 5 stars CREEPY and WONDERFUL February 15, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I Loved this story. It made usage of my imagination. Which not a lot of books/stories let you do that. I bought this on my kindle and when i got to the end, I kept clicking the button to turn the page to continue. It left me wanting more of the story. I CANT wait to read more. FOR SURE A MUST READ!!! 




Friday, March 28, 2014

JASPER BARK - GUEST POST!





Jasper Bark steps in the good stuff with Stuck On You. Quite a depraved lad. Read this guest post and you'll see what I'm talking about.


Blaze McRob


Book Description

March 25, 2014
Warning! Do not buy this book, gentle reader.

No really, we mean it. Move along, click away from this page and go look at some Dino porn instead. We’re not kidding. The only reason we published it is because award winning author Jasper Bark has got some serious dirt on us. Honestly, there’s no other reason to put out something this depraved.

This is the sickest, filthiest and most horny novella you’re likely to read this year. It will turn you on even as it turns your stomach. Think you’ve seen everything there is to see in horror and erotica? Think again! Just when you think this story can’t get any lower it finds new depths to plumb.

Why are you still reading this?! Oh God you’re going to buy it aren’t you? You can’t help yourself. You’re going to click on that purchase button and download this little bad boy.

Well don’t say we didn’t warn you...
5.0 out of 5 stars fabulous gore! March 27, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Poor Ricardo what a way to wake up, but think it was worse for Consuela.

I was totally gripped from the first paragraph, how could I not be with lines like this; Her body smelled rancid from the vomit with an underlying odor of burnt pork.

So, the basic premise of the story is philandering Ricardo goes on a shopping errand for his poor, but stupid wife. He ends up cheating with some skanky drugs mule, gets struck by lightning on the ass and then a bear shows up to the picnic!

Joined at various parts poor Ricardo tries to make it back to his jeep but must first make it out of the forest, as bad goes to worse the final text conversation is hilarious and heart stopping all at the same time.

There is a great underlying dark humour to this. It’s short and snappy and the writing style is very clean and easy to read, it has a way that just seems to keep you engaged, despite smelling my dinner burning in the background.

As the story is played out in a serious of flash backs, little pieces of the story come to the surface and you are drawn to like then dislike Ricardo as each scenario is completed.

The gore and gross factor are right up there with some pretty hot sex going on in here too.

Not read this author before but will definitely be on the look out now!



For too long now award winning author Jasper Bark has been allowed to skulk in the shadows committing his unspeakable acts. If he isn’t tearing out the throat of acclaimed author Joseph D’Lacey or eating the brains of best selling novelist David Moody he’s detailing some of the worst acts ever committed to fiction.

This has to STOP. We have to expose his checkered history to the horror blogosphere at large. Recently we at Crystal Lake Publishing tied Jasper to a chair and beat a confession out of him. The results of this cross examination can be found below along with a series of links to youtube that show his many crimes caught on camera.

 

PERSONAL LIFE:

 

How do your two innocent daughters cope with having someone like you for a father?


Thankfully they’re not entirely traumatised by having me as their father – just yet. They tend to use humour as a way of coping with me. I was hoovering a little while ago when my youngest Ishara looked at me askance and asked: “Dad are you gay?” To which I said: “I’m married to your mother and I have two children, what does that tell you?”

“That we’re adopted?” replied Freya my eldest.

 

On another occasion Ishara was dragging her feet on the way to school. I told her to pick her feet up and stop being such a pain in the backside. She started to sing: “Pain in the backside/Pain in the front/Mummy is a slack bride/ Daddy is … Daddy is … Daddy, what rhymes with front?”

 

Do you think they’ll put you in an old folks’ home soon or have you convinced them that a man of your age isn’t actually old?

 

I’m hoping that by the time I reach an ancient and decrepit age they’ll be so warped, through long term exposure to their father, that rather than inflict me on the residents of an institution, they’ll think nothing of slaughtering a few virgins so I can bathe in their blood and rejuvenate my aging flesh.

 

You began your career as a performance poet, isn’t that just an excuse to recite dirty limericks in public?

 

It was an excuse for a lot of things, most notably not cutting my hair cut or getting a proper job.

 

Your career has never been far from controversy has it? Before you were an author you managed to cause quite a scene at the Edinburgh International Festival.

 

I presume you’re talking about the scandal surrounding my play ‘F*** The State – In 5 Easy Lessons’ which debuted at the Edinburgh Festival. It did stir up a bit of controversy in the tabloids and a few councillors called for it to be banned. It was up for a Fringe First (which are the Oscars of the festival) but it was denied it due to the controversy.

 

The most unsettling thing was watching a bunch of the actors getting arrested for handing out leaflets for the show on the Royal Mile. This is something you expect to see happening to dissidents handing out seditious literature in the former Soviet union. Not actors handing out flyers for a comedy at one of the world’s foremost international arts festivals.

 

Some people really don’t have a sense of humour I guess. Thank goodness the British bobby is still susceptible to bribery I say.

 

You also spent some time as a music and film journalist, who was the biggest douche you had to interview?

 

That’s a difficult question as there were rather a lot. Fame and money do not bring out the best in a person’s character.

 

I did interview Marshal Mathers when he first came to Britain to promote his first album. A female colleague and I went to meet him in a suite at the Dorchester hotel. His six foot eight, African American minder showed us in and for some reason I still can’t explain, we did the interview in the bathroom.

 

My colleague was perched on the side of the bath, while I squatted over the bidet under the disapproving scowl of the minder. Mr Eminem sat on the toilet and stared at the floor, answering our questions with monosyllabic grunts.

 

About ten minutes in to the interview my colleague asked him about the number of his lyrics that dealt with violence against women. “Alright, I see where this is going,” said his minder. “Don’t you answer that Marshal.” Then he picked me up by the scruff of my neck so that my feet were dangling above the floor and marched me and my colleague out of the bathroom and threw us into the corridor.

 

My write up, as you can imagine, was quite cutting and filled with invective, but my editors had a failure of nerve and printed a bowdlerised, sycophantic version of the interview instead. That same week the NME, who’d conducted a perfectly cordial interview, led with the heading ‘Meet Slim Shady – He’s an Asshole’ and completely trumped us.

 

About a year later I was given his second album ‘The Marshal Mathers LP’ to review. I sat down, sharpened my knives and put it on the stereo. You can imagine my disappointment when I found out it was brilliant. Oh well.

 

You also write books for children and are well known in the world of graphic novels. When did all this start and how do you fit it in around writing horror novels?

 

Well the comics and graphic novels probably came first. While I was working as a music and film journalist I got in touch with The Losers creator Andy Diggle, who was then editor of 2000AD and offered to get him in to see any band or up coming film he liked for free. After a screening of the film Snatch I mentioned I was interviewing the cast and director the next day. Andy told me if I could get a quote from director Guy Ritchie he’d buy a script off me no matter how ropey it was. So in the middle of the interview I asked this drawn out question about 2000AD and got Guy Ritchie to endorse it. I let Andy out of the deal though and eventually sold a script to his successor, current editor Matt Smith.

 

After writing grown up comics for a while I began to notice there weren’t any really good comics for kids anymore and as I was a parent myself I felt impelled to try and write some so I moved into the kids comics market. From this I moved into writing kids books. Some of my kid’s books have been translated into nine different languages while others are used in schools all over the country to help improve literacy in senior school children.

 

Why is your name spelt Jasper on some books and Jaspre on others?

 

I had to undergo a bit of a rebranding exercise. Jaspre is an unconventional spelling of ‘Jasper’ but as I started to sell to an increasingly international market it was apparently causing confusion among certain readers about how you pronounce the name and this was putting them off.

 

So, just like Jif (which became Cif) and Marathon (which became Snickers) I’ve been re-marketed for a wider public. Unlike Cif and Snickers however, I don’t hang around the toilet for ages and you can’t nibble my nuts for under a buck.

 

Is it true that your most embarrassing moments was reviewing pop videos with two puppets called Zig and Zag on the UK TV show The Big Breakfast? 

 

It’s the most embarrassing moment that I can publicly admit to.

 

A friend of mine, who is quite a famous stripper, recorded a copy for me when it went out. As she was doing this her bed partner of the night before burst a blood vessel in his penis causing the condom he had just put on to fill up with blood like a water balloon. My friend, bless her heart, refused to take him to the hospital until she’d finished taping my segment.

 

This is a true story!

 

I did the spot with the Australian comic Mark Little who used to play Joe Mangel on the soap ‘Neighbours’, which is famous for launching the careers of Kylie Minogue and Guy Pearce. Mark started the interview by saying: “You know I’ve got a little Jasper” To which I replied: “Never mind, they have plastic surgery for that nowadays”.

 

“No,” Mark said. “I mean I’ve got a son called Jasper.”

 

“Oh,” I said, and an embarrassed silence followed, in which my customary wit completely deserted me.

 

 

WRITING AND CAREER:

 

What first got you interested in writing?

 

I was five years old and I saw a piece on the long forgotten BBC TV children’s show ‘Why Don’t You’ about kids, a little older than me, who were making their own comics. All you needed was paper, felt tip pens, a stapler and a little imagination. I had all those! I could make my own comics, MAKE MY OWN COMICS!!!

 

No idea has ever filled me with such excitement. From drawing my own comics I began filling stolen school text books with stories. The compulsion got so bad that the following Christmas my parents had to confiscate my pens and paper so I would come open my presents.

 

Do you plot your stories or does it just unfold before your eyes?

 

If I’m honest, it’s a little of both. I usually spend a lot of time plotting in advance but sometimes a story gets impatient with me and tells me to just sit down and write the damn thing. Even when I’ve plotted something quite tightly the story will often surprise me by taking unexpected turns. There is always a journey of discovery as you uncover the first draft, even if you think you know where you’re going. One of my favourite jokes goes: ‘Q: How do you make God laugh? A: Tell Him your plans.’ Bearing that in mind, I suspect you would probably have your novel in uncontrollable fits of giggles if you were to show it your chapter breakdowns.

 

Do your characters take on a life of their own and do things you didn’t plan?

 

Constantly! As I was coming towards the end of my second novel I was worried about a few loose plot threads and was trying to think of a sub plot I could quickly add to address them. Then out of the blue one of my characters suddenly revealed a whole sub plot that had been going on right under the main characters’ noses that completely reframed the whole story. I had no idea about this until she started to outline it. I sat there taking dictation from her thinking the whole while “why the hell didn’t I think of this?” She even made reference to all kinds of tiny events in the novel that I had forgotten about and suddenly made complete sense of them. Many reviewers commented on this surprise sub plot and singled it out for praise, but to this day I really don’t think I can take any credit for it. It all came from my female lead.

 

Sci fi visionary Philip K. Dick used to speak with his characters and consult them independently of his fiction. He was especially fond of a few characters and he would interact with them in a fictional realm, a little like divination. When he needed their support or advice he would sit at his typewriter and type “Phil walks into Leo’s office. He sits at Leo’s desk, wearing a hang dog expression. ‘Something on your mind Phil?’ Leo says. ‘Well I’m glad you asked,’ says Phil. ‘As it happens … &etc’.” He had on going relationships like this, with some of his characters, for decades after the books they appeared in were published. This is because the characters were independent entities to him. Grant Morrison also talks about putting on a fiction suit and stepping into stories and I’ve met Chaos magicians who claim to have summoned up and interacted with fictional characters in very real magical ceremonies. So I guess they’re all exploring a similar vein, which begs the question: do we come up with our characters, or have they always been there, simply waiting for us to write a story to house them?

 

What is a day in your life like? Can you walk us through the minefield?

 

I tend to wake fairly early when the blunt object my wife has thrown connects with my head. Usually this is either because the kids are driving her psychotic, or she’s found the writer with his throat torn out that I left in the middle of the lawn the previous night (when the cats do this with their prey it’s considered cute, but apparently when I do it, it’s psychopathic – double standard anyone???).

 

When the kids are safely delivered to school or, if it’s the weekend, safely locked in the basement with the power tools and the matches where they can’t distract me, I’ll settle down in my office to work. I tend to begin my day by writing a list. Lists are great ways of pretending to work without actually doing anything and they bring a completely unearned sense of achievement. I’ll start with a ‘to do’ list to which I’ll subsequently pay no further attention, then, if I’m about to embark on a new endeavor, like a short story or a script, I’ll write an ideas list like this one:

 

LIST OF IDEAS …

 

1) Erm ….

2) Err ….

3) How about …. no that’s a bit obvious …

4) Well I could always … no I couldn’t – God what was I thinking!

5) There’s always the old one about …. no, everyone’s used that …

6) Does an inappropriate thought about the Creature from the Black Lagoon actually count as an idea???

 

Once that’s successfully accomplished I may even write another list as a direct consequence of the last list. Such as this one:

 

LIST OF POSSIBLE REASONS WHY I’M GOING TO MISS THE DEADLINE:

 

1) I’m on the run from the CIA – again! (this has possibilities).

2) Look, it’s women’s problems alright! You wouldn’t understand. (not sure if I can pull this one off  – fnarr, pull this off, snerk).

3) I’ve just suffered a rectal prolapse due to a civil war between the microscopic alien races inhabiting my lower colon. (might need to work on this one, fnarr – work on this … oh wait that’s not an innuendo).

 

Once the serious business of list making is out of the way, along with other important admin tasks such as ‘liking’ every lame picture of a cat that I can find on Facebook, it’s time to settle down to some serious writing. First I open a new document. Next I spend two or three hours staring alternately out of the window and at the blank screen of my laptop. At some point during this vital stage in the process, my wife will walk in and say something devastatingly witty like: “working hard are we?” I’ll then spend half an hour contemplating whether I should draw up a list of snappy comebacks for the next time she cracks this particular howler, but failing to come up with anything in the least bit ‘snappy’ or ‘comebackable’ (yes that is a word) I’ll abandon the idea.

 

After eating a light lunch I’ll return to my desk for a concerted hour of weeping tears of bitter frustration, interspersed with kicking my desk and weeping tears of pain from the injury I’ve done to my foot. Then I’ll lie on the floor, stare at the ceiling and bemoan the fact that I was stupid enough to enter a profession for which I obviously have no talent and my children will undoubtedly starve as a consequence.

 

Remembering that my children will soon have to be picked up from school (or released from the basement) finally spurs me into action and, fueled by sheer panic, I manage to rattle off a thousand words or more before I have to down tools and resume my role as a parent. In the 30s and 40s at the Disney Studios, the sixty minutes before the animators would clock off for the day at 5pm was known as the ‘golden hour’. This was the time when all the guys in the studio would stop giving each other hot foots, or drawing penises on each other’s cells when they weren’t looking, and knuckle down and do some serious work. It was estimated that the majority of work that you see on the screen from that period was drawn in this single hour.

 

That’s how it is for me too. I’d like to say that all the preamble leading up to this hour or so is an integral part of the process, but even I’m not that self deluding. In fact one of the main reasons for having a routine is not so much to encourage myself to write, but rather to avoid all those things that stop me writing (namely just about everything). Don DeLillo said: “A writer takes earnest measures to ensure his solitude and then finds endless ways to squander it.” Which effectively says in seventeen words what’s taken me nearly a thousand.

 

Have you ever written something so truly, deeply frightening that you scared yourself?

 

If you’re going to successfully scare your readers you need to be able to scare yourself. You need to probe those parts of your psyche that you’re normally too afraid to explore. You have to confront those irrational impulses and deep seated phobias, that fester away under the skin of your mind like an abscess, and use your fiction like a scalpel to lance them and bleed off the poison. If it works for you, it will work for a fair number of your readers.

 

One story that did deeply disturb me was How The Dark Bleeds. The idea for the story originally manifested in a graphic novel I was pitching to an American publisher. One of the subplots contained a concept that increasingly unnerved and disturbed me. It grabbed hold of the darker side of my imagination and tortured it incessantly, until I was both in love with and terrified of the concept all at once. I had never seen this idea anywhere before and I knew I had to write about it. The only problem was, as amazing as this concept was, the graphic novel I was pitching was better off without it. So it was with great reluctance that I took it out.

 

At around the same time I was stuck for an idea for the short story I was contracted to write for the anthology For the Night is Dark. Well not so much stuck, I had plenty of ideas, it’s just that none of them were as good as I thought they ought to be. The pay for writing short stories is frankly lousy, so I always figure that, if I’m going to go to the trouble of writing one, it better be something I really want to write.

 

Then I remembered the concept that enthralled and unsettled me, the one I’d put in the bottom drawer. If anything, it had grown stronger since I’d dropped it into fictional suspended animation. I found it had been waiting for me and it wanted to take me to places far darker than my fiction had ever been before. It forced me to confront and record the taboos I’d previously shied away from and  to enter those territories I’d always thought of as ‘off limits’ – even as a horror writer.

 

The experience of writing this story was both exhilarating and excruciating. There were several moments during its composition when I wondered not only if I wanted to finish it, but whether or not I wanted to write another piece of horror fiction as long as I lived. Ultimately, I did live to tell this tale and I will certainly tell others.

 

With hindsight, I’m glad that I did. The story turned out really well. It scared my publisher and made my editor queasy. It’s going to be collected in Stuck On You and Other Prime Cuts the short story collection I have coming out in June from Crystal Lake Publishing.

 

How important is authenticity to an author? Should they do hands on research if something is outside their experience?

 

Authenticity is everything when it comes to writing. Especially when you’re writing about things that are very unlikely to happen. Like decapitating a member of the walking dead with a malfunctioning sex toy. Or staking a vampire with the sharpened end of a frozen blood sausage. If this is outside of the author’s experience then it’s important they at least make some attempt to find out what this would actually feel like, if only as an aid to their imagination.

 

We recently had a new router installed to improve our broadband connection. This involved rewiring the offices at the bottom of our garden. So I was forced to work on the dining room table in my bathrobe. Well I wasn’t actually forced to work in my bathrobe, that’s just one of the perks of my job. Unperturbed I soldiered on with the day’s work and, as an aid to my imagination, I decided to boost the authenticity of the story I was writing by acting out one of the scenes.

 

Lacking a gothic balcony I decided to improvise and clamber up the bookcase instead. As there were no members of the undead to hand I had to use one of our long suffering cats. Being vegetarian I’d sharpened the end of a veggie sausage to give me an idea of the weight ratio involved in wielding a frozen blood sausage. At this point two things happened. A  – my wife and the engineers entered the room to check the phone connection, to find me halfway up the book case pretending to impale a ruffled feline with a sharpened veggie sausage and B – my bathrobe fell open to reveal my not so sharpened love sausage.

 

While this is just another day at the office for me and my all too understanding wife, the engineers were, to put it politely, more than a little perturbed. I blame my wife for this of course. She knows there’s no phone connection in the dining room.

 

Can you write under any conditions or do you need peace and quiet?

 

Peace and quiet is essential to the act of creation. Staring into space for long periods of time is an unavoidable part of writing for a living. Even if we can never get our loved ones to understand this. If we don’t get the time and space to do this properly then countless hours of work can be lost.

 

At an integral point in my story I might suddenly hit a brick wall, triggered by an unseen plot hole such as: “how does my protagonist obtain a frozen blood sausage in the middle of the Sahara?” This is the point in the proceedings when I look up from my screen and use the time honoured technique of staring into space. My train of thought might go something like this…

 

“So how does my protagonist get a frozen blood sausage in the Sahara desert? I mean it’s not like the nomadic Tuareg raiders have a traveling blood sausage tent or anything. How would they freeze the sausage if they did? Can you get a camel powered freezer in the desert? Could you fit a freezer in a camel’s hump?

 

“My editor is seriously going to get the hump if I don’t get this story in, I’m two weeks late already. If my protagonist was a writer who’d missed his deadline maybe he could sharpen his blood sausage on the heated edge of his editor’s rage. Is that even possible? Perhaps I’m coming at this from the wrong angle. Maybe I need to think about this thematically.

“What does the blood sausage represent?

“The phallocentricity of Victorian society?

“His father?

“His father’s phallocentricity?

 

“If the blood sausage represents his father’s phallus, and he wants to penetrate the vampire’s chest with it, does that mean the vampire’s cold heart is his mother? If the blood sausage melts as it pierces the undead organ will the liquid blood impregnate the vampire’s heart causing an unholy hybrid sausagepire to grow inside the slaughtered vamp’s chest cavity?

 

“Wait a minute… I’ve got it… that’s it… oh my god, that’s the most amazing idea I’ve ever had… the vampire sausage hybrid is a…”

“Working hard?” my wife might say popping her head round the door at just this moment.

“What?”

“I said are you working hard? I popped in to see if you wanted a cup of tea and you were staring out into space.”

“I’m not staring into space I’m doing important mental work and I’ve just made a breakthrough. Do you realise that the vampire sausage hybrid is really a… a…”

“The vampire sausage what?”

“No, you don’t understand the blood from the sausage is… it’s going to… I mean… oh no, I’ve completely forgotten. I had genius dancing at the ends of my fingers and now it’s gone. Dead and gone as surely as if you’d hammered a sharpened blood sausage through its unbeating heart.”

“So… does this mean you want a cup of tea or not?”

“Aaaaargh!”

 

At this point I will most likely throw an unholy tantrum and lock my self in my study for the rest of the day. On reflection it’s most probably this behaviour that causes my wife to invite workmen into the living room while I’m swinging naked from the bookcase.

 

WORK:

 

What first attracted you to horror writing?

 

The fact that it’s the genre you go to when you want to think the unthinkable. The genre where all our worst fears and neuroses bubble up to the surface. What if my child doesn’t come home one night? What if my home, my body or my mind is invaded and I’m powerless to stop it? What if consensus reality is just a cosy fiction that masks a deeper more irrational universe than we can ever understand?

 

This last fear is probably what attracts me the most. Horror stories are where I first learned about people who held heretical beliefs and practiced unthinkable acts in the name of both science and religion. Who had the balls to lift what Shelley called “the painted veil that those who live call life” and peer at what lies behind it. Granted they usually came to a bad end because of it, but in the brief moments before their fall I always thrilled to their Faustian excitement, drunk on the power of forbidden knowledge.

 

The Gnostics used to believe that fearsome angels, known as Archons, patrolled the outer limits of reality to terrify and attack all but the bravest and most dedicated seeker after the truth from venturing into the unknown. Sometimes the deepest and most profound truths lie beyond a howling chasm of fear. To experience those truths we have to leap blindly into that chasm with no guarantee that we will get to the other side.

 

That moment of electrifying, near hysterical terror, when we leave behind everything we know to be true, and hurtle towards a new reality, that’s the note of cosmic terror that I love the best.

 

Do you prefer all out gore or psychological chills?

 

I think that depends on the story you’re telling, the themes you’re exploring and the scene you’re concentrating on. Both have their place in any horror story.

 

What connects them for me is that they’re both about revealing the mysteries of the interior. Very few of us get a sustained and intimate look at what goes on inside our bodies. Few of us get to hold a beating human heart, to use sharpened steel to remove a vital organ or watch as the blood drains from a still warm body until it stops kicking and turns cold.

 

Few of us ever explore the truly damaging nature of an aberrant human mind. Few get deep inside a psychosis so destructive it will bend a human will to murder over and over again. Or find ourselves caught up in the maelstrom of a meme, like mob justice, that culminates in genocide.

 

Horror is important because it’s the one genre where we can take those parts of us that remain mentally and physically hidden and bare them to the light. So that in plumbing the depths of our bodies and minds we might chance upon our souls.

 

What attracts you to writing Zombie/Apocalyptic fiction?

 

Although both those genres have become conflated thanks to Romero’s excellent Dead movies, none of the Zombie fiction I’ve worked on has been post apocalyptic. The appeal of each genre is quite different for me.

 

What I like about zombies is how malleable they are as a representative icon. As society trades old nightmares for new, with each advancing decade, the zombie keeps adapting and changing the things it stands for in our collective unconscious. In the 30s when the zombie was first introduced to western culture it stood for the western colonial fear of the nations it was exploiting. Over the years the zombie has come to represent mainstreams fears of everything from communism and terrorism to sixties radicalism and growing economic unrest. This makes it very appealing to writers like myself who have an interest in writing social commentary and satire.

 

The thing that appeals to me about post apocalyptic fiction, on the other hand, is that it allows you to study society as a whole in microcosm. As we view the shattered bands of survivors trying to rebuild their life in the aftermath of the collapse of civilisation there’s a huge opportunity to examine the everyday tensions and conflicts of our current society. The backdrop of a lost and ruined world allows us to view these opposing forces in a more naked and honest light, outside of the contexts and allegiances of our contemporary culture. This throws them into sharper relief and allows us a fresh perspective of the problems they’re causing us and the long term consequences of certain courses of action.

 

Plus err … zombies are totally awesome. They eat brains, they never wash and they always, always win. Vampires and Werewolves might be in an eternal conflict but Zombies can kick both their butts. A vampire or a werewolf can bite a Zombie as many times as they like and it’ll still be a zombie. A zombie’s only has to bite them once and you’ve got a zompire or a werebie. (Is it just me or does a ‘werebie’ sound like a creepy undead furby fetishist?)

 

When a novel has a strong theme, it can be a tightrope act walking between what the story’s about and what it’s really about. Way of the Barefoot Zombie uses the walking dead sub-genre as satire. At times I found the message blazing as brightly as the story itself. Was that intentional? Once you knew where you were going, did you find it hard to keep a lid on all that social comment?

 

You’re right it can be a tightrope act but I’m glad you said ‘blazing as brightly as the story itself’ and not ‘strangling the fecking story to death’. I think the writer’s ultimate responsibility is to the story itself but I think the story is strengthened no end if it is about more than just the characters themselves and what happens to them. As a writer you get incredibly close to your story and subject matter when you’re spending eight, nine and even ten hours a day working on it. You can’t help but ruminate a lot on your themes, so when the greater significance of certain parts of your story occurs to you, you want to point them out.

 

I was a lot more subtle about this in my third novel Dawn Over Doomsday and as a consequence a lot less people noticed. So I think when I wrote Way of the Barefoot Zombie I was over compensating a little and trying to point out the subtext to the reader, possibly a little too much at times. I’m still learning how to get the balance right.

 

I do aspire to write genre fiction that is fast paced, completely gripping but just as intelligent and significant as more weighty writing. This is a tall order though and sometimes you can fall between two stools. The sort of people who just want quick entertainment can get really annoyed when you start asking them to think a bit and the sort of people who might appreciate the more complex ideas you’re considering can be put off by the schlocky nature of some of the content.

 

Still, it’s not worth doing if it’s too easy is it.

 

Do you think horror has a purpose, above giving people a comfortable, entertaining scare?

 

I really do believe it has. In my opinion the best horror stories use the weird and other-worldly as a metaphor for a deeper or more personal truth. I also think that the world is quite a scary place at the moment and because of this the tropes and motifs of horror are some of the best ways of addressing the contemporary world. A lot of the horror writers coming up at the moment seem to be interested in social commentary in the same way that the New Wave and the early Cyberpunk writers previously used science fiction as a vehicle for social comment.

 

Regardless of whether you could sell it or not, what is the book you were born to write?

 

The Scratch and Sniff Karma Sutra – don’t know why it hasn’t been done before.

 

Why should people read your work?

 

Because I need the money!

 

Also because they’ll discover imaginative, edgy and unexpected fiction that explores social and spiritual issues while pushing at the boundaries of what genre fiction can and ought to do.

 

Because I’ll take them to places they’ve never been before and will never get to visit again. That’s a money back guarantee.

 

STUCK ON YOU:

 

What were you thinking when you took an urban legend and turned it into a delightfully twisted story called Stuck on You?

 

Mostly – “Gee, I bet this will make ’em toss their cookies” I wasn’t actually sure it was an urban legend when I stumbled across it on an obscure forum while researching something else. The person posting it seemed to think it was a true story. In fact the tale first appeared on the Darwin Awards site, which is devoted to deaths that are so dumb the victim is given an award for not muddying the human gene pool with their decided lack of smarts. So there’s some debate as to whether it actually happened or not (my guess is definitely NOT).

 

It was one of those little snippets of information that stuck to the seamy underbelly of my imagination and wouldn’t let go until I wrote a story to get rid of it. Taking the Piss, another story that’s collected in the forthcoming collection: Stuck on You and Other Prime Cuts, was just the same. It was inspired by something hideous I read about that just wouldn’t leave me alone. I sometimes create stories as little traps for the vile and hideous notions that infest my psyche, so I can be done with them and pass them onto my unwary readers. Think of it as a public service.

 

Stuck on You goes to some pretty extreme places, did you ever worry that you were going too far?

 

All the time. The fear for a writer working on something like Stuck On You is that you’re going to lose half your readership. That what your describing is going to gross them out so much they’ll throw the story down in disgust. So I would try and slowly ease the reader into each new incident that befalls the main character Ricardo. I would build to a gross climax then scale it back a bit. The thing about the story is that just when you think it’s gotten as low as it can go I’ll find a new depth to plumb, but you have to let up a bit in between. The intense levels of eroticism helps with this as did the black humour. Many readers have said they squirmed while reading it, or felt sick, but most have also said they laughed too, which is good because there is a strong element of slapstick in the story.

 

There are some really erotic and sexual scenes in Stuck On You. Were they fun to write?

 

Yes, but they were also very hard (if you’ll pardon the pun). That’s because, in my experience, Sex and Violence are the two hardest things to write well. Not many people have first hand experience of extreme violence so their depictions of it can sometimes seem inauthentic or clumsy. While most people have first hand experience of sex, we make ourselves very vulnerable when we talk or write about it in great detail. Mainly because we’re revealing something of ourselves that’s very intimate when we do. What’s more, its very difficult to find the right language to approach sex without sounding like either a clinical sex ed. description or a euphemism laden dirty joke.

 

Champions of ‘Quiet Horror’ often claim that ‘anyone can throw in a bunch of sex and violence and get a response’ but I think they’re wrong about this. You’ll get a response, but it won’t always be a good one, because not anyone can write sex or violence well. That’s often why many authors stop at the bedroom door and only hint at the violence. I think they’re making a virtue out of a necessity. However, I do think you can write something of great quality that’s also extremely violent and highly erotic. That’s one of the issues I was hoping to address with Stuck On You. You’ll have to read it to see if I’ve succeeded but I can promise you that if you like either sex or violence you won’t be disappointed.

 

Why should people read Stuck On You?

 

Because it’s the sickest, filthiest and most inexcusable thing you’ll read all year. If you think you’ve read everything in horror think again this will take you to an all time low. It’s the ultimate guilty pleasure, the sort of book you have to read with one hand free, partly to hide behind and partly to do other things with.

 

VIDEO FOOTAGE & MULTI MEDIA:

 

Jasper’s 1st promo for his novel Way of the Barefoot Zombie wherein he shows us a novel way to treat an estate agent and make a real killing on the housing market:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJAuN0GmZI8

 

Jasper’s second promo wherein Jasper shows us how to have our pick of the best brains on Wall St and cooks up more than just the books:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQsVBENt6_8

 

Jasper’s third promo wherein he he demonstrates a novel way for dealing with singy bank managers:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhPQlpJSe6c

 

UBVE #2 wherein Jasper avoids a zombie apocalypse, talks at length on zombie fiction with best selling authors David Moody and Wayne Simmons and ends up eating David Moody’s brains.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4JUChsyZVQ

 

The Blood Fudge Incident! Wherein Jasper tears out the throat of Joseph D’Lacey in the middle of a central London bookstore while launching Joseph D’Lacey’s Blood Fugue:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtB4sRthFjE

 

Episode of Resonance FM’s Atomic Bark show wherein Jasper talks at length with presenter James DC about the history of Horror Comics:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81j8emzHh3M

 

Another episode of Resonance FM’s Atomic Bark show wherein Jasper talks at length with presenter James DC about old time Radio Horror Shows (very fascinating, very frightening):

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6Z3goixWwc